This painting was made in 2018. I was at university and crashing hard into myself, my tutors and my peers. The weight of university and the stresses that i experienced were all too much while trying to raise a new born. The debt i occurred for zero gain was and still is unbearable for me to think about and I’m reluctant to want to discuss this even as i type this. The painting is my representation of my mind and my thoughts, while showing my hope for a future for my child, who is now 3 years old. The vibrations are not of a calming nature as my daily headache would take over at the time. The stressful marks as depicted surrounding the brain are to highlight the tension and the physical illness i was experiencing.. yet through all this i was still able to attempt the work i was to endure. Some of it was better than others and after sleepless nights and staring into the void of my computer screen i would often find my self seeing a depth of light and darkness… both in physical forms and mental.
It was also discovered that i had dyslexia during my time at university, which felt like a double edged sword for me and even though help was put in place for me i had an entire lifetime of being misunderstood to try and accept. This only added to my mental health deteriorating to a heavily depressive state. If im being honest here, i still struggle but im sure something beautiful will grow from this experience.
Finally in trying to see the positive in my, what felt like a, terrible situation i turned to painting for a self prescribed therapy. This piece came as a natural art work for me and the rose growing from the brain. i think, explains itself for the viewer and hopefully can help people to see that they are not alone.
